Abortion and married?

Abortion and married?

Abortion and married?


Your situation is a difficult one and I am afraid that only you can decide what to do for the best. I have four children and our youngest wasn't planned at all. We too struggle financially as bringing up four children is an expensive do! However I don't regret having my children but I do sometimes find myself wishing I had stopped at two!! lol but that thought passes. Talking things over with your husband is very important, ultimatley it is your body and therefore it's your decision, however you need to consider how your husband feels and he should do the same with you. At the end of the day you have to live with this choice for the rest of your lives either way, so you should be 100% sure about your path before walking along it. If you really are having doubts about the abortion, then my advice would be to have the baby. It is only natural to want the baby growing inside of you and if your only reasons for not having the baby are financial ones, then you may live to regret having an abortion. You say you have been poorly with your health and I can understand how this may also worry you about having another child, perhaps you should go back to your doctor and talk things over with him/her regarding your second thoughts and to find out if there are any health risks if you choose to have the baby. If the doctor thinks are are physically fit enough to have the baby then again it comes down to what you really want from your life. Having lots of children has its pros and cons!! I have three girls and a boy and they do fight like cat and dog lol, but then there are times when they all pull together and the bond they have between them is worth all the hardships, these are the times I am sure having four was the right choice for me. When all is said and done, I can empathise deeply with your situation, but this is your life and you have to do what is best for yourself and your existing family. I hope things work out for you, take care and a friendly ear is always here should you need it!! x


I know that this is not a popular opinion on this site, but I am pro-choice. You have the right to make decision about your own body and whether or not you want to go through with a pregnancy. That said, I would only support somebody's decision to have an abortion if they had thought things through properly and were 100% sure about their decision. I think you need to sit down with your husband and talk about your second thoughts. You need to both get everything out in the open and come to a decision that you are both happy with. I wish you the world of luck and hope everything works out for you.


Over the next two weeks you have to seriously think about this, think about the consequences (keeping the baby or not). The decision is down to you and your husband. Speaking from experience an abortion is a dramatic thing that will stay with you for the rest of your life. You cannot go back afterwards, so just make sure you are sure. Either way things will be hard but good luck in whatever you decide to do, I am sorry you have had to find yourself in this situation.


I'm all for a women's right to choose. Only you know your family's situation but at the same time it is only your choice in the end that matters not your husbands or family members. You will have to live with the choice in the end. A few of my friends made the choice to end their pregnancies and mostly because of the same reason. I had a friend who just ended her pregnancy and she was upset about it for a while but she just prayed about it and she is now looking towards the future, she knows that she made the right choice for her. She knows that if she would have had the child she couldn't have gave the child the kind of life it needed. Even though I argued with my friend about using protection, and that this could have been prevented, she was still my friend, and I had to be there for her. And I know her situation was very hard to deal with and it came with much pain but she knew what was the right choice for her. If you are having any doubts go over your options very carefully and make the right decision for you, don't make this decision because someone is pressuring you/or forcing you. I became pregnant at a young age and I was being forced into having an abortion but my doctor told me legally and medically if it isn't life threatening no one can force you into it, it is the choice to make on your own, not your boyfriend, husband, parents have to live with the decision afterward. Go and seek counseling for your depression and you can also go to Planned Parenthood for counseling and so that you can look over all of your options and they will also give you information where you can get help financially and any other help you may need. Also talk to your doctor about the kind of birth control that is right for you. God Bless.


Hi I am 37 and have two children, and would feel the same. I would feel like an abortion is the best thing, but you are having second thoughts which means you really need to go over it all again with him. You have been ill, and this is only more stress I feel sorry for you. The fact you are feeling down could mean you are not thinking straight. Can you get some councelling quickly? Is your mum able to chat with you? Dont worry about the children, they need never know so dont let that sway you. I hope you cope with this. Good luck. xx


The only thing i can say to you is to go and learn all the facts before doing anything. Eg. What are the chances of having the same complications as the previous pregnancy's. Its really a personal choice to make. Would you be willing to keep struggling with money,Or have the guilt of the abortion. At the end of the day no one can make the choice only yourself. And you have to life with the choice. Best of luck whatever you decide to do.


You have to do what benefits your entire family. You already have two children that need you. Talk with your doctor and your husband about the risks. If you are recovering from some other injury you don't want to damage that recovery with another baby especially when the children you have already need you. But, if you are going to feel guilty about this for the rest of your life then don't have an abortion. There is financial aid and other programs out there to help you. Accidents happen.......but it doesn't make you love this baby any less. You have been pregnant before so I know you know the feeling of finding out your pregnant. and now you feel guilty. Just make it a decision between you and your husband. If he doesn't know that you have doubts you need to tell him because if you go through with the abortion then you are going to blame him and be angry at him when he doesn't even know your feelings. Hang in there sweetheart. Pray...........he'll lead you in the direction you need to be going.


Yikes this is tough. My first ? is what does your heart tell you to do. I understand the money thing. Most places offer government help to low income families. And don't let anyone make you feel guilty for using it it is there for a reason. Like me I get help. I would check into that. Personally I don't believe money would stop me from having the baby. Second ? is will carrying the baby threaten your life. If not then I would probably keep it. I was raised a child is a gift from God. This is a decision only you can make. And your husband should support you either way. You are the one who will have to live with your decision either way. If you have ?s about the government help email me and I will se if I can help.


I suppose since the laws are such that they give you that choice, then it is indeed your choice to make. But I will tell you that I had an abortion 6 years ago and now my husband and I can't conceive. I too am 38. Now I live with the regret of that choice made 6 years ago. Every time I see a pregnant woman or a little child I am forced to relive the moments of that fateful day over and over again. --Sitting in the waiting room, watching the clock tick until they call my name. It's like having an out of body experience, watching myself from a distance, wishing so much that I could climb back into those moments and run myself out of that office instead of following the nurse back into that room. I can't! What's done is done. I walked into that office with my baby inside of me and I walked out of that office leaving my baby behind like a science project / medical waste. This poem I wrote sums up what I deal with now. [That Was Then] Choices Made Regret filled nights A child with wings A haunting memory Oh how it sings A forever melody on my mind Where have you gone Sweet child of mine Thoughts pondered Choices made A journey beginning As it's future fades The power my mind Had over me You were never a reality Your sweet voice was never heard Now I hear your every word You speak to me From my deepest being I can't escape you I do not want to I long to hold you If only to explain I never thought about the pain How could I rob you of your life Full of splendor, your soul so tender The agony surrounds me You are all around me Do you hear me I beg you forgive me ~el


You really don't need to feel alone on this. And please ignore any people who post and say you're going to hell for aborting the baby, because I'm sure the Bible-thumpers will find you someway or another. Anyways, I think abortion is wrong, but I completely understand why you feel like this needs to be done. You're feeling really overwhelmed and I'm sure at this point you're having second thoughts because you're starting to get attached to the baby. I think what you need to do is speak with your doctor, and then speak with your husband about how you feel. If you get an abortion, it's your choice, whether anyone likes it or not. But if you keep it, there is help for you. Lots of programs help people with kids that don't have much money, like WIC and Medicaid. I should know...I've been on them, temporarily, and I don't regret my baby girl one bit! One step at a time. Just know you're never alone. Women all over the place have been through this, and we're here for ya!



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